Once upon a time you totally wanted to join Blackrock Diving School, but you didn't. That was so lame. Then you realised you could still join Blackrock Diving School and experience many wonderful things!
You would enjoy not being yelled at by an enraged dutch lunatic raid leader. Of course, he's yelling at you, but Blackrock Diving School doesn't use voice chat for tactics, so you don't have to ask some other dutch player what on earth a "verrekte gratenk*t" is, because the only ones wondering why he's yelling, are his neighbours.
Instead of the yelling, you would be greeted by friendly ASCII boobs in raid warnings. And because there were complaints, also by friendly ASCII men-chests in raid warnings. And because that still wasn't enough, there will be ASCII hairy men-chests in raid warnings.
When you need that gear enchanted, you would just ask the guild bank.
When you need that flask in the raid, you would just take one from the cauldron.
When you wanted lobster in the raid, you would just bloody well eat it or that raid leader starts with raid warning boobs again.
When you wanted potions, you would just use your free ones from the guild bank.
When your gear got busted, you would just repair it courtesy of the guild bank.
When you requested that non-stackable item from the guildbank, you would receive it gift wrapped.
Did I mention we have a guild bank?
When you finally figured out the complex mathematics behind our EPGP-loot system, you would be decked out in epics.
So sign up now at our forum.
Blackrock Diving School - We Recruit Gnomes Too
( . Y . )
[ . @ . ]
One year of Cataclysm under our belt! We are still going strong, still doing 25-mans and very excited about what 2012 will bring us!
From all of us to all of you on Argent Dawn and elsewhere:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
”Run, run, run
as fast as you can!” Bencylverni
chanted while bouncing around behind Lyrande. The druid was
carefully healing the warrior without getting attention from the angry
piles of bone and sinew currently being teased by the seasoned tank.
”The smell is really starting to get to me,
though I have a strange hankering for a good barbeque,” said Prejudice sardonically,
jerking her head towards the freshly resurrected Onyxia.
”Aye, she’s been through the mill a few
times that one.” Blackfox
did his best to breathe through his mouth, but he was dedicated to the
cause and with a snarl he locked his jaws around a hind leg and tore
off a strip of bloody tendons.
”How does she taste?” Dragel halted his axe for a
moment to look at his feral friend.
”Probably like fermented and hard-boiled dragon,
if I’m not much mistaken.” Zergg had blown up his
plumage and looked positively deranged as he sent spell after spell
towards the bedraggled old foe.
The warlocks were all busy commanding their demons to
the target when Spoonoid,
one of the priests, pulled Tyranyx
out of harm’s way:
”Watch out! Incoming bastard, two
As Nefarian took his place in the ring of battle Lidye scrambled to get out
from under his massive wings. Suzue,
on the other hand, wondered how Spoonoid could be worried
about the time at such a moment in history.
Curse you mortals! Such callous disregard for one's possessions must be
met with extreme force. I hope you can swim... in molten lava!”
”Get out of my way! The lava is rising!” Kyllarone shifted from his
usual ursine self to an agile cat and sprinted towards a rising plateau.
”Diving in lava! How curious! It’s like
returning home, isn’t it?” Kielen laughed as she
crawled atop a pillar standing out of the deadly sea.
”At least no-one can complain about being cold
here. I don’t miss that about Icecrown Citadel!” Trira laughed and kicked the
prototype on the shin causing it to hop around swinging madly at the
”So true! I can show my tattoos in here!” Gabsia flexed her muscles
before punching the prototype in the stomach.
”Are you done yet?” Stalkey barked across the
sea of cinders. ”I have a desire to slaughter more dragons here,
”Ahoi! Get on with it!” With clenched fists
send a bolt of his own wrath at Nefarian causing him to slowly drift
back to the ground. As the disturbed dragon shot a nasty glare at the
shielded her with a shiny barrier.
ran forward with an angry battle cry that sent shivers down Neroah’s spine:
”Darn, I always thought his braided beard would
muffle the sounds he makes… Seems I was mistaken.”
In blunt resourcefulness Brognir grabbed hold of the
nearest elf, who turned out to be Prejudice, and threw her at
the giant dragon. With a victorious cry she broke off several scales
with her dagger. Thracia
aimed a poison-soaked arrow at his pulsating flesh and as the rogue was
thrown off into a wall she watched it sink deep.
looked on as Nefarian lowered his head in desperation and charged at Drakom. Eikoni sent his shield
flying and the mage Magistros
had just enough mana left to create one last fireball. It hit the side
of the dragon’s head and with one last roar it fell to the side.
Their combined efforts had been enough to end the dark reign.
Once again, Nefarian was no more.
the… Waddaya call this? You promised me vicious beasts!”
Ganage was in a strop already, and the sheer amount of Twilight
Cultists seemed to push him over the edge.
”Well, if it isn’t Mister Gwumpypants! Have something to
eat.” With one hand on her hungry wolf’s collar Norvia
shoved a basket towards the dwarf: grabby hands on the way securing
their owners a bite of cold crab.
”Is… is this thing alive still?” Evertje looked
aghast at the thought of eating living creatures.
”Yes, but we fattened it up on chicken feed from Westfall before
we dipped it in the basket,” said Plukette sardonically.
Magistros and Wobwoy were bustling with their cupcake-filled boxes,
trying to distribute them evenly among their fellow divers.
While adjusting her imp’s attitude Tzarina eyed the blinking crab
with suspicion: ”Does it still have its soul intact? I’m a
sucker for good souls.”
”Oy! Don’t you even dare! I refuse to touch soulless
things! Even if it’s just seafood.” Esté was
seconded by her holier than thou-teammates. ”We’d rather
Valp was busy tucking yet another highly polished soul stone into his
bag when his attention was drawn to Drakom who was looking a bit pale.
”I wish we could all be friends. Sometimes, I just want a
Stalkey and Blackfox looked close to tears but stifled their laughter
as Shahi went over to put his arm around the plated draenei:
”Don’t worry. We got your back in there.”
”Was that supposed to be reassuring?” Neroah had just
dropped her axe on Esmao’s foot and the dwarf was hopping around
swearing loudly. Lyrande was watching the scene with mild interest.
”Time to get the show started.” Bencylverni pointed a
twig-like finger at Brognir: ”Go wake the wretch.” He
nudged his head towards a plinth where an elf was laying upside-down,
snoring loudly and dripping poison all over the floor.
”Please do, she’s hurting my delicate ears.” Tantium
slowly shook his head and picked up his sword.
One of Thracia’s arrows shattered into the wall, stirring
Prejudice from her beauty sleep:
”Hic! Is it killing time yet or do I have time for another
all of us to all brave denizens of Argent Dawn-EU server! May your
lewtz always be phat!
ME AT HIM!” Evertje’s voice carried far in the frozen halls
Citadel. A shadow of the owlbeast glinting deep within her eyes.
We must prepare if we are to vanquish the King of the undead!”
hissed through gritted teeth. Holding back a determined chicken is
serious business. “Yes, do you know how many hours I have to
the Kit-Cat Club to finance my repair costs?” Thelanthas glared
at his fellow druid. “Oooh! That place has great ale, and the
are reasonable too” said Ganage absentmindedly, before clapping
hands to his mouth and reddening violently. Dimcrokcold and Arillium
hastily put their faces in shadows and avoided any attention.
wrong with dwarf girls?” cried Gotregh impatiently. “Unless
a tail and a pair of horns they’ll never be as desirable as
Beléwien readjusted her tail-ring with a gleeful look at the
Quellar turned to have a look at her own ring, to find it missing.
Eliondir leaned against a wall, twirling his daggers and looking
innocently pleased with something.
puffed out his chest and whispered to Tarnlak; “I don’t
think the tall
ones have much charm, really.” The dwarf snorted with laughter
quickly wiped some spittle off the prepared food; “Eat
Bencylverni ventured to ask: “Can’t you bring some soil
“Soil? Don’t be silly! Fish has nutrients enough to sustain
in a long fight! And just think of all the time our cooks have spent
sweating over the frying pans to bring us this meal!” Narzala
the tree a grey piece of fish. “And yet, that isn’t doing
wonders to my
appetite…” Plukette's mind was forced away from dance
lessons and back
to reality by the small dispute.
I can’t wait to hold Frostmourne!” Brognir had barely time
wickedly before he was slapped squarely across the face by Eminentia.
“Dimcrokcold and I feel that if anyone is to touch that cursed
will have to be one of us. We are, after all, filled to the brim with
the holy light." “Yeah right!” Nervana took a break from
pet. “I usually hang back with you healing types, and I’ve
seen you use
a certain pain-spell on friendly targets when you’re bored.
evil.” With a sigh she turned back to the wolf. “I’m
sure we’ll all get
a chance to hold the sword.” Valp was doing his best to look
and Tzarina did her best to support him.
you done with being silly, yet?” Enerdhil tapped his foot
“Ehrm.. Yes. Why?” Neroah tried to silence the rest of the
looking surprised at the fact that the rogue was able to string so many
words together. “Well, I thought you’d all like to know
that Drakom is
running like a madman towards Arthas .”
rattle of armor and weapons and people banging into one another*
”Wow. That vampire sensation
sure stays with you for a while, doesn’t it? Eliondir looked a
bit pale. “Hmm… Whaaat?” Enerdhil was absentmindedly
licking the blood off of his daggers and not really paying attention to
anything around him. Etri was busy rummaging around in Professor
Putricide’s pockets. “Oooh! A trinket!” He was
flattened to the ground by a flying hunter. “It’s miiiine!
Give it here!” A shriek could be heard from over by the caster
group. “Oy! Get off!” Secsy used her big owl belly to bump
the struggling elf off the shaman. “Why do the hunters always do
that? Don’t they ever learn?” Beléwien glanced at
the situation infront of her with dignified resentment. "Nah, ye
can’t really expect them to understand anything once
they’re trained. Not got the capacity, ye know.” Ganage
happily shares his wisdom with anyone who cares to listen. Linte ran
around picking up a few items that had fallen out of the
professor’s pockets during the fight. “Oh! This one is
nice!” She threw herself aside and narrowly avoided being run
over by the hunter. “Could someone strap that elf down?”
Bencylverni and Plukette volunteered, and a frost tomb and some thick
roots allowed for a smooth auction.
“Where to next? We must
surely be closing in on Arthas now?” Nervana was studying a
ragged map. “Errr, not sure but I think it’s this
way.” Arillium took off up a hallway, but froze when he heard a
“click” underfoot. “We’ll ambush them from
behind” “Who failed at disarming the traps!?” Giwien
slapped a ghoul with a branch and Dimkrocold hurriedly healed
everything in sight. “AAAAAARGH!” Vaalyr came bounding up
to the fight and struck anything that moved, friend or foe. Tzarina
ducked to avoid being slammed into the wall and set her demon on the
crazed death knight. Tyranyx thought it best to stay at a distance
along with Tor who sat comfortably inside his protective bubble.
They hacked and slashed and
stunned to the best of their abilities and managed to strike the
opponents down. Nervana slowly looked up from her map while exclaiming:
“Oooooh wait a minute! It’s this way here. I held the map
upside down! Ehrm... What are you doing?”
Lets skin this dragon!", shouted Niekoh. "No no", Narzala tried to
explain patiently, "Valithria is our ally. We have to save her." Niekoh
was silent for a second before he spoke. "Now listen here, goat. I was
fighting dragons before you even crashed on this world. I slew Onyxia,
Eregos and Keristrasza. I know that dragons exist to be fought and
looted, not to be saved. You wouldn't get far in Blackwing Lair with
this kind of hippy attitude." "Hey, I like hippies, they hug..."
"Shush, dirtmuncher!" Moominir backed away in a reconciliary manner and
concentrated on looking like a tree, which he was very good at.
on, lads, get your strength up before battle. I caught and cooked it
meself", Baradin unwrapped a foul-smelling package and started handing
out its content. "Barad, this fish has three eyes...", Linte remarked
after closer examination. "And this one seems to be an old slipper",
Belewien added. "Can't help it, lasses, I lost me spectacles while
fishing. But the recipe is practically unchanged, the spices will mask
the texture." Norvia sighed and discreetly handed over her portion to
her pet. The beast sighed and discreetly dropped it in Arillium's
Lend me your aid! I cannot hold them off much lonegr! You must heal my
wounds!", the dragon's voice boomed across the halls. "She called me a
hero...", Drum said showing signs of excitement. "Ok, people, time for
battle. Kozuki, go first to disarm the traps". The slightly-intoxicated
rogue stumbled a few steps forward and sneaked around the corner. A
metallic click was heard, followed by an agonizing scream. Calixaticus
rubbed his palms together and gripped his sword. "Excellent, the path
is clear. Chaaaaarge!"
Another year has passed and what a cold and snowy year it has been! We
managed to save the world countless times again, this tine in
Northrend, and had great time while doing that. On behalf of the
Officers we would wish you a very mellow Winter Veil! May your lewtz be
phat and may you meet more lovely people online!
HAPPY WINTER VEIL 2009, ARGENT DAWN-EU!!
"Nonononoonononono!", yelled Sevalle and set off running. A set of
stone spikes emerged from the ground missing the gnome mage by inches.
Another one appeared at the spot where Sevalle was just a second ago.
It looked like a train of rock spikes chasing a small screaming ball.
Ekthelion shouted, "Run through the ice!". Sev jumped on the nearest
icy patch, sliding under the belly of a giant ant-like Nerubian spawn
and between the legs of the rogue. A horrible creaking noise sounded
through the chamber as the burrowed Anub'arak hit the underground ice.
"Heads up! More ice incoming!", despite meager size Linte's voice
boomed in the cavern. A glowing blue orb exploded covering the ground
with ice. Cingosa looked with dread as her totems vaulted over and
rolled to the side, right under Giwien's feathery feet. The frenzied
owlbeast sent them flying at the nearest spawn.
"Bugs go squish!", roared Anherion, holding tight to Anub'arak's neck.
His other hand was plunging a dagger repeatedly between the monster's
chitin plates. "Such a buggy encounter", replied Baradin sending arrow
after arrow, taking sips of Dwarven-made Coppr Bru in between.
Ganage managed to sneak under the monster's torso and plunge an axe
right in the soft spot on its underside. He only managed to bubble
split-second before Anub'arak's legs buckled and the huge body crashed
"Sometimes you are the bug, sometimes you are the windshiled", remarked
Vaalyr, who felt left out of post-combat puns.
hacked and slashed at the tentacle wrapped around his waist. His hits
lacked power since being lifted off the ground prevented him from
gaining steady footage. He was not the only one, other Divers was
struggling to free themselves from the grip as well. Although some
looked as if they enjoyed the proximity of slimy objects...
A shadowbolt passed close
to his ear. "Hey, I said >free me<, not
>kill me<! Watch your..." He never finished the sentence. The
whole chamber turned into a flash before his eyes and suddenly...
...suddenly he was
sitting in an inn. The table in front of him bent
under the weight of roasted pigs and flagons of mead. Which did little
for him since he was dead for many years, but Sadowkill, Narzuul,
Norvia and a few other Divers seemed to be overjoyed. This feeling was
further enhanced by a band of minstrels and all the topless serving
wenches. Considering that just a second ago they have been fighting one
of the Old Gods it felt oddly out of place. And yet so right...
The blow for the tentacle
never came. Instead a gentle breeze ruffled
Bwanna's fur. He slowly opened his eyes. He stood on top of a
grass-covered hill. The view was breathtaking, with more hills and a
glimpse of sea on the horizon. Next to him stood Moominir, Bencylverni,
Giwien, and Neroah, equally stunned by the mellow scenery. It felt so
Maxxuud, Ganage, Tor, and
Gulfwin felt just as confused when they
appeared on top of a huge pile of gold and gems. It definitely felt
Wobwoy, Valp, Iziss,
Darkchylde and other more intelectually inclined
found themeselves in the most secret library of Kirin Tor. It couldn't
Benes found himself tied
up like a hog, naked and chained to the wall
in a soaking dungeon, being smacked on his bottoms by succubi wielding
wet selleries as whips. It felt so calm and fulfilling...
And then Drum finished
Yogg-Sarron off on his own and all good things
came to an end.
didn't expect company in his workshop. "Oh, my! I wasn't expecting
company! The workshops is such a mess! How embarassing!", he grumbled.
"Sif... was Sif here? Impossible! She died by my brother's hand. A dark
nightmare indeed...", Thorim said strolling in.
"OBLIVION!", Kologarn greeted everybody.
"Tragic... to come so far... only to fail", Hodir looked at Thorim with
"Such a waste...", said Freya with disappointment.
"Some things are better left alone", added Auriaya.
Mimiron decided to regain the initiative before the discusion strays
off too far from cordial small talk. "We haven't much time, friends!
You're going to help me test out my latest and greatest creation! Now,
before you change your minds! Remember, that you kind of owe it to me
after the mess you made with the XT-002!"
"I need time to reflect. I will aid your cause if you should require
it. I owe you at least that much, Thorim agreed.
"Thank you, friends, your efforts have yielded some fantastic data!
Now, where did I put-oh-ah, there it is...", Mimiron grumbled again.
"OBLIVION!", Kologarn shouted with glee.
"Fertilizer!", Freya bit back.
"You waste my time!", Auriaya started to head for the exit.
"It would appear that I've made a slight miscalculation. I allowed my
mind to be corrupted by the fiend in the prison, overriding my primary
directive. All systems seem to be functional now."
"Can't you at least put up a fight!?", Thorim was surprised to see him
give up so easily.
"I can fix that. Or, maybe not. Sheesh, what a mess...", Mimiron wasn't
in a mood to argue.
"YOU FAIL!", Kologarn felt he was being left out of the conversation.
"Enough! This ends now!", Hodir had enough of this nonsense.
"Hm...outplayed", Mimiron conceded defeat. Suddenly Kologarn tapped him
gently on the shoulder. "Master, they come....", he pointed at
Blackrock School Divers emerging from the tunnel.
"There is no escape!", Auriaya shrieked in high voice.
The chamber exploded with panic.
on his back in a pool of cold water. His armor was steaming despite the
cooling effect of the liquid. "How are you feeling?", the voice came
from Gwinneth's concerned face hovering above him. She was flanked by
Bencylverni and Moominir, looking equally concerned as far as it is
possible for trees. "What... what happened?", Esmao groaned. "Bwanna
had to knock you into this pool to prevent you from melting. He might
have done it a bit... roughly. Let us help you up."
By the looks of it, the room they were standing in was a huge forge.
The rest of the Divers were pillaging through the remains of a molten
giant. Which vaguely corresponded with Esmao's memories. He remember
several oddities. Like Maxxuud shooting Ganage from a catapult. Like
Tyranyx pulsating with light. Or Xsathra wrestling a dragon with scales
sharp as razors. Or himself being thrown into a slag pot. This place
was very confusing. Secrets of the Titans or not, he would prefer that
Heradir ordered them to direct traffic in Stormwind or organising soup
kitchens in the Plaguelands.
Sudden sounds of disgusts coming from the group made him turnaround.
Gotregh has just materialized in one of those nifty teleporters
scattered across the complex. He was standing naked, without any
attempt to cover his private parts. "Gotr... er... I think your armor
stayed on the other side of that teleporter..." The dwarven warrior
looked down and said, "Never mind, I'll get it later".
people, stay silent. We are here only for the eggs", whispered Heradir,
crawling on the rocky floor of Sartharion's cave. The huge black dragon
seemed to be napping in the middle of it, and so did his three drake
companions. They weren't careless, they did post guards in the cave,
but all of them have suffered unfortunate, yet totally soundless,
accidents. "But but but, what about the loot?!", Maxxuud did his best
not to scratch his golden armor on the stones. "Shush, dorf! This is
about saving the good dragons and the world, AND surviving. We want to
get out alive", Tyranyx poked the paladin with her wand.
The eggs were gnome-sized and covered in golden scales. "Hmm, you
think... it's real gold?", Anherion already started to calculating
black market value. "Let's see...", Niekoh gently poked the egg.
Suddenly a small lizard-like shot through the shell and buried its
teeth in the dwarf's hand, chainmail offering no resistance. Niekoh
turned pale, then turned red, then looked as he was going to scream.
The group froze in place, preparing for getting exposed, but the
paladin clenched his jaws quickly. "P-p-please remove t-t-this whelp,
it has d-d-daggers for t-t-teeth...", a grunt came from his mouth. "No
way! This way it will keep quite. Don't worry, we will heal you
later... maybe", Ysandrel winked.
The Divers divided themselves into pairs, each pair grabbing an egg and
carrying it carefully towards the exit. Xsathra, in his bearform, was
able to drag two eggs on his own. Niekoh took position as rearguard,
with the dragonwhelp still hanging from his arm. Then disaster struck.
"Excuse me...", a voice boomed across the cave, "what exactly are you
doing with the eggs?" The adventurers turned around and found four
pairs of dragon eyes staring at them. "Um... we are moving them to a
safer place", said Baradin eyeing possible escape routes. Xsathra
quickly sat down on Niekoh, concealing the whelp. "Yes, I can see you
are fond of dragons... seeing as one of you is sporting a cloak made of
Onyxia's scales!" The group looked at Bergina who was shuffling his
hoofs. "Oh mighty dragon, would you accept this offering of a goat...",
started Noadidi diplomatically, but it was too late. The dragons
out! They are incoming from above!", shouted Heradir. Hooded silhouttes
on floating disks swarmed around the group of adventurers. Norvia
quickly placed an arrow in one of them, while Anherion followed up with
a throwing dagger. The shape tumbled to the floor and the disk kept
skidding along until it stopped at Wobwoy's feet. The mage stepped
carefully on it. "Hey guys... it's still hover...", the rest never
heard the end of that sentence, since the disk suddenly sped up taking
the howling Wob away. "Great idea, Wob! Divers, grab your swords and
jump on the disks! Take out the ones far away!", Ehril took charge
quickly. Narzuul brought another of the shapes down and Rawth placed
himself on its spot. Qvistus jumped on Rawth's shoulders and together
they began unleashing a four-armed typhoon of fury. Cerelandra firmly
planted her roots around another disk and followed them.
"ENOUGH! If you intend to reclaim Azeroth's magic, then you shall have
it... ", Malygos' voice boomed. Suddenly the floor exploded and the
adventurers started to fall down into an endless void of pure nether,
screaming like a bunch of... voicing their concern about the current
situation. Just as Kreya was going over his last will (containing an
old gnomish army knife and a small bag of dry morrowgrain), she felt a
tug and suddenly found herself on the back of a red drake. Similar
creatures carried other stupefied Divers. Ganage found himself staring
into his dragon's eyes. It asked "Aren't you the one shooting both red
and blue drakes outside Wyrmrest Temple?. "Errr..", before the paladin
could respond the dragon knocked him from its back with the tail and
caught him by his belt with the talons. Sounding like an oxe being
flayed, Ganage got carried towards victory...